“I was a hostess at Joe’s Crab Shack for a little while. That was pretty fucking weird. At least I got to use the intercom to announce when tables were ready. They gave me a list of “fun” and “creative” ways to call the parties in, like, “Plaza, party of 4, do the crab walk alllll the way to the host stand because your table is ready.” I made up my own sometimes that didn’t make any sense, or didn’t have anything to do with crabs. Like, “Gobble, gobble, gobble … Smith, party of 2 …” I was only there for a brief time because soon after I was hired, someone who worked there took the keys to my car and stole everything out of it, and left the key in the door. I’ll never go back to Joe’s Crab Shack again.”